Life is good spent tearfully. The wellspring of my soul is overwrought, the tears well up and flow. The great responsibility: mourning, fasting, praying. (Nehemiah 1) It is often times the daily call. Drops of joy in rain on cloudy days. The bob and weave of relationship building, dancing in hope, buckling in rejection, catching breath in anticipation, shaking fists at betrayal. Loving; beautiful, hard, worthy of giving yet difficult in deliverance. God’s word shut up in my bones like Jeremiah (Jer 20:9), hard pressed into my thoughts and seeking venue for it’s power. It was Paul’s thorn, Esther’s fear, Nehemiah’s burden. It is God’s purpose sealed on each heart before the heart pumps with new life and the brain thinks with new vision.
It is burden that weighs heavy, one you can’t lay down, wakes you up before dawn or makes it impossible to close your eyes to its illumination of truth. Its the wrestling over a life broken or one needs saving, sharing insight into soul searching or opening doors closed tight to breath in loves pure touch of grace and light.
Tearfully I live in the trembling. Few seem to comprehend, questioning, shaking heads, wondering. Yet it brings words to life, wakes up minds, convicts souls, seeks forgiveness, pursues relationship, revives the church! It is power, strength, patience, faith, obedience, discernment daring boldness and calling out salvations song.
Tears for walls fall, stains clear, healing comes. Tears for lost, broken, hardened. Tears for new truth, open eyes, redemptions call. Tearfully seeking Christ in moments alone, worship with many, witnessing Gods glory.
The Calling, Gods bidding, my burden of great responsibility to another; pushing limits, praying grace, hoping change or anticipating need, seeking to love.
Its a sobering love deeply felt and gently calling back.
If you feel it, if the tears fall in or outwardly express the pressure one feels to reach another, express it. Seek Christ and lend hand and ear like Paul in chains but free, walk boldly into the throne room and pray the King extends the scepter like Esther, lay down in mourning, pray and fast and leave behind what you know to rebuild like Nehemiah, stand in the field gleaning waiting for your Boaz and trusting the Saviors marriage to your soul. Life is lived best when in fellowship with Christ and in perfect step with the calling He imbedded in your blood with salvations receipt pumping through and always prompting you, tapping you on the shoulder of your mind to hear, to act, to live.
We are in a tearful state of waiting. Everyday we wait. Most do not know what they are waiting for, and few find contentment in the waiting for few truly understand what they are waiting upon. Waiting on Christ’s return to bring us to full perfection, satisfying our souls longing, bridging the gaps between us and God with our sinfulness, bringing life full circle to His throne of grace and golden streets and beauty beyond reason. Creation waits, withering and fading in the waiting, worshipping God in their full glory. Always choosing Christ, trusting His deliverance, seeking His sun and moon and water. The birds sing to Him and He provides. (Romans 8:19-22)
Oh if we too could trust God as creation does, and worship Him in trusting fellowship. A bubbling tear of joy would flow crocodile big down our cheek with gladness. Thus is our purpose as His child, to call people to redemptive living, serving, breathing, trusting, gasping for truth through our selfish screening, dying to fellowship with depravity and things that kill and touching the robe of healing for salve on our washed out, burned out, lived out lives.
Do not swat your hand of discard at the words God has pressed upon your spirit for so long. He has not left you, He has not rejected you, He has been pulling hard on your heart strings and you have been running away from the music of His steadfast long-suffering voice. Throw back the scales from your eyes so that you might see. Seek refuge in His wings for His span is big enough to encompass you and He will draw out the poison we have taken in and fill you up with the balm of mercy and love, so that we too can spread this remedy to hurting souls fleshed out in sin.
I have witnessed this great work through many tears with God’s call on my life to breathe life into others; God’s moving upon a body of believers, where salt and light have lit up the house (Matt 5:13-16), though hard pressed to understand, but most certainly not crushed, perplexed but not despairing , persecuted but not abandoned. (2 Cor 4:8) We know that neither death, nor life, nor present, nor future, nor depth nor height can keep us from the love of Christ. (Rom 8:38)
“The love of Christ poured down with blood from holes in hands and feet. His watered eyes He cried upon the cross, “forgive them Lord take me. ”
Although I am weary, I approach the throne with tears. Jesus wept. (John 11;35)
Tearfully sow and reap shouts of joy! (Psalm 126:5)
Tearfully seek as food day and night. (Psalm 42:3)
Tearfully pray, He hears our pleas and adds more time to our life. (Isaiah 38:3
It is a sobering of the mind. (I Peter 5:8). Remove yourself from childish living. (Eph 4:14) Diligently answering the call (II Pet 1:10) Proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into the marvelous light.”(I Pet 2:9)
Tearfully, Lacrimoso, lay it down oh lay it down.
“I am weary and overwrought with so many battles left unfought, oh when the saints come marching in I want to be one of them.” Sara Groves, When the Saints