The Voice

God has been redesigning my life and I LOVE IT!

Ever felt like your life as you know it has come to an undefined end? Having been in school for upwards of 30 years, raising my two daughters alone for the last 20, serving on the Board at the church and leading the Single Mom’s Ministry the last 3 years and so many other little things that having recently ended, I have felt this way. Over the course of this last year I have discovered that school is out, my children are now raising me a little and my time to serve in that ministry capacity had ended: it was time for a new plan. But, I did not have one and I was restless.

Internally and prayerfully I was lifting my hands to God, “Please Lord help me figure this out, what can I do, where can I go, what should I be doing, who can I help?”  I was also attempting to do some things on my own to no avail. In the still waters where I floated and walked over the summer He spoke. In my newly renovated bedroom/book nook half finished He spoke. Through my current boss, my mentor, referrals from friends, my Starbucks Baristas, random strangers, my children and ministry connections He spoke.  “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.”

I am an avid reader.  God laid several books in my lap this year that were empowering: 12 Clean Pages, Bread and Wine, Falling in Love with God, Soul Keeping and My Best Yes.  I am a leader. God has redefined my leadership roles: Office Manager(and I thought i would be teaching), Small Group Leader, Mentor, and continued Sunday School Teacher.  I am a writer. God has given me writing/blogger/editor jobs: Editing a book, launching a book, writing a Vignette, editing a grant, possibly writing a grant, hopefully creating and writing a blog for a friend’s Non-profit, continuing to write on my own personal blog and working on building my own ministry. I am a singer. I am officially an active member of the Texas Traditions Chorus.

How easily we take the reigns of our own life thinking that we understand our calling. How quickly we throw our hands up to God and question what he is doing.  How fast we become angry when things do not go as we were believing they would go.

We battle, we fight, we recoil and bite back, we scream, we run, we charge forward, we bob, we weave and we fail in our own strength. God whispers in the wind, speaks through a friend, dances with you through a strangers compliment, exercises His love by forgiving you of your folly, treasures you in the brokenness when our attempts at grasping the road ahead end in sweat and tears and striving, striving, striving.

But God.

In the beginning God.

The Great I Am.

The Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.

And He rescues. He speaks life into you.  His word flows out.

Be still and know that I am God! Trust in the Lord, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths or make them straight. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord!  It is well with my soul. Wait upon the Lord. Seek and ye shall find.

Listen.

Watch.

Breathe in the breath of life.

I awoke the other day to the sound of the birds singing.  I put our dog Gunner out on the tree to play and began preparing for another day.  The dog began to bark and I paused to peek out the window and watch.  He was barking up. The birds chirped. I listened.  The dog barked, the birds sang. the dog barked, the birds sang and then another dog barked and the woodpecker pecked the telephone pole and a squirrel paused in the grass and the birds whistled. I realized that they were talking to each other and it reminded me of another scripture.  All creation testifies.

God redefines our life.

All of the books I read that spoke to my deeply longing heart were gifts or recommendations from friends. My new leadership roles were years in the making, through my education which had to be finished, through my ending leadership roles where God was refining and preparing me.  My writing jobs have come through my connections with authors and relationships built over long periods of time.  My singing came after finally accepting an invitation that had been sent out for several years running.  The treasure I found was not only was it a chorus of women who love four part harmony, it was acapella – where my life with Jesus began.

He speaks.

We took my eldest daughter to get her ears pierced at the mall when she was 13. We had attempted it before and she couldn’t go through with it.  When it came time for the gun to shoot the ear she began to scream.  Her scream penetrated the acoustic mass ceiling of the mall, reverberating through the place.  People began to gather and watch perceiving that we were torturing and forcing this little girl to do what she did not want. I held her down as requested because she had begged me to make sure it happened no matter the cost. The brave employee pulled the trigger. BAM!!!!! Suddenly her screaming stopped flat. “Oh that’s it!”

Sometimes we do exactly that in life.  The anticipation of the unknown is overwhelming. We expect a certain result from life and bury our heels in deep begging for life to stay the same. Sometimes we begin to move and then recoil and run.  Sometimes though our screaming stops.

We listen.

We watch.

We breathe in the breathe of life and He renovates your everyday.

God spoke!

God is redesigning my life and I am loving it and I am LIVING IT!